HERE IT IS... CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY

A day late than anticipated (Naija Internet), I present to you the mixtape of the year... before the year you realized it wasn't all that good, lol. 19 minutes (yes, 15 minutes of fame and 4 minutes of has-been status) of excellence. Donwload here.

NNA ANYI... IS IT TRUE? (TRIBUTE TO CHINUA ACHEBE)

If you don't know who Dike Chukwumerije is, well then listen up. He's an Abuja-based poet and poetry slam champion. He's the type of person who will be featured on Def Poetry Africa, if my friend Elnathan and I become multi-millionare TV moguls to produce one. Here, Dike presents us with a tribute to the late Nigerian author Chinua Achebe. Oh and just so you know he purposely refused to subtitle the Igbo. Igbo Kwenu!!! Nna anyi... is it true?

THE MIND OF DR. BENNY LYNN/ WITNESS THE SHOCK

As I post this, it's Sunday morning. Probably not the time to disrupt peaceful-minded folk, but this is how you shake things up and possibly ruin a career before it starts. Here are a couple of tracks from the upcoming mixtape So The Critic Has A Mixtape (And A Title Longer Than The Actual Project) or #STCHAM for the reading-too-many-words-in-a-title impaired.


The Mind of Dr. Benny Lynn




Witness The Shock (Ku Be A Hankali)

THE LATE REVIEW: EVERYTHING LATE FROM LINDSEY TO DRAKE... OR DRAKE TO LINDSEY

NOTHING WAS THE SAME ALBUM REVIEW

Perhaps not since DMX, has a rapper been so emotional (Eminem was mostly just angry) and made his success off it. In the case of DMX it was over abandonment issues, family drama and a hard upbringing. In the case of one Aubrey Graham, better known as Drake it’s over ex-girlfriends, missed opportunities (with girls… again) and could-have-beens (yes, with girls). That’s why DMX get respected and Drake gets memes made about him over the internet that start with the phrase, “Drake the type of nigga to…”, e.g. Drake the type of nigga to pick up a bruised apple and ask, “Who did this to you?” or Drake the type of the nigga to read this review and ask, “Abdulnasir, who criticized your writing?... Tell me! Don’t let anyone ever tell you you can’t write!”

          

That said, this is the best Drake album EVER… not that I listen to Drake albums, ‘cause you know he the type of nigga to… Anyway, like I was saying, if you can sit through half the songs and possibly some of their topics where he calls out exes like Courtney from Peach Street or whoever he's pining after and so on, it’s a great album. Adele had the common sense not to mention her ex when she did a whole album about him, Drake is not too common with common sense, which is funny ‘cause he had beef with Common… and that didn’t make sense!

           

Even on his “Worst Behaviour”, where he blatantly rips off a quarter verse from Ma$e, Drake still delivers, even on the emotional songs you sometimes want to wipe away! Started from the bottom he sure didn’t, but most of his records seem to start from the bottom of his heart and for some reason they “Connect”… I suppose that’s “The Language” of staying relevant! (You see what I did there with the song titles?)

P.S. Does anyone like me wonder how come it wasn’t DMX who recorded “Started From The Bottom”?

Rating: 3/5.

LINDSEY’S NIGHT OUT AT EDEN

On September 18^th, the recently launched Eden VIP Lounge hosted perhaps its first musical guest in the form of songstress Lindsey, who performed songs from her Brown EP released earlier this year in February. Backed by the EP’s producer Atta Lenell on guitar, Lindsey went through her songs, while interacting with the audience as some enthusiastically sang along, especially fan favourite, “The 90s Song”. It was an intimate setting, if only for the football match of the evening that distracted a few.           

The singer recently got nominated for the Prix Decouvertes RFI 2013 tour. The French sponsored tour picks an African artist to tour the continent. Here’s wishing her good luck and if you haven’t heard her EP, download it here.

A REVIEW OF GREASE: THE NAIJA MIX

Seeing as I haven’t seen many onstage musicals (in or out of Naija), it was with some trepidation that I went to watch the first ever showing of Grease: Naija Mix (actually the second showing of the night) as staged by Krump Studios under The Speaking Feet Project. I had doubts believe me. I had been told the play gets better as it goes by someone who saw the first showing of the day, so I felt okay.

          

First of all, a little backdrop: yes, it’s about that Grease movie, the one with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John and the flashy costumes; the leather jackets and still safe-to-wear school uniforms of yore (I take it people still use the word "yore"?) and you might wonder why do a play about that and on the surface it seems to be pretty much that, till you get pass the first few scenes and find the Naija surprise. Intertwined with a couple of shot footage; Grease: The Naija Mix manages to tell two parallel stories. The first sticks with the original storyline from the movie, even up to the setting of Malibu, California (Jabi doubling as Malibu in the footage, don’t laugh) where we meet Sandy and Danny played by professional dancers Elle Iwenjiora and Enobong Ekpenyong respectively, who can act, not too shabby (if you were wondering), while the second story (which I found amazing, perplexing and unexpected) introduces us to Shandy (Stephanie Uche Enebeli) and Donnie (Praise Nelson), that’s right the Naija version of Sandy and Danny set in Ogbomosho, Lagos (not even in the Malibu-like Jabi, Abuja)! You did see the words, “Naija Mix” in the title, right?

           

While Sandy and Danny represent all that we see and know of “love” from a Western cinematic perspective (love, jilted lovers, remorse, etc), Shondy and Donnie gave us the Nigerian version (the stereotype of unromantic men, the ready-made-men seeking women, etc). As Donnie tries to woo Shandy by curtailing the belief that Nigerian men can’t be romantic, he is surprised by the words of Shondy, “Na love I go chop?” a line that gets interpolated into the lyrics of “You’re the one that I want”. Of course in telling two Grease stories, the Naija version suffers slightly from having fewer scenes.

           

To separate the stories and for technical reasons (to give the performers the chance to change for the next scene), hosts Goldfish and Omonakee have their own humorous interaction with the audience about love. I have to say I actually enjoyed myself, my best musical performance being of “Grease Lightning” to one moment where Elle Iwenjiora as Sandy (performing an original song) temporarily breaks character when the audience gets involved yelling at her not to take Danny back. And here I thought it was hard to get a response from an Abuja crowd. It seems clearly musicals do a better job than musicians asking you to wave your hands in the air or whatever. Other standout performance includes Adeola Omotosho’s rendition of “Sandra Dee” (in some nice looking nightwear, I might add) to the ensemble performances of Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” to Timaya and Chuddy K’s “Molonogode” and “Gaga” respectively.

            

The staging of Grease: The Naija Mix has been a four year dream of director, choreographer and owner of Krump Studios, Jemima Angulu and to see it come true in such fashion, she must be proud of herself.

RATING

Like I said, I haven’t seen too many musicals on stage, this is probably the first one minus the school plays I’ve been in and the ones I had to sit through, but I enjoyed myself and the pluses (great dancing, decent singing, hilarious commentary) way outweigh the minuses (they did the best with the underfunded production they had). It gets a 7/10 rating from me.

IT'S ON TONIGHT- MO AGER FT. SAEON & VECTOR THA VIPER

Last I heard from Saeon, she was on a track with rap femme fatal Kel. Well she's back bringing along Vector Tha Viper. The two are featured on a track produced by NBA player Maurice Ager of the Dallas Mavericks! Now don't act like hip hop and basketball don't have a long standing relationship! Unlike your favourite ball player who wants to rap (like they don't make enough money already, joke... but they do), Ager here actually produces, so I guess this is a first! Check out their collaborative effort after the jump.

Certain things I like about this record, even though I think the final recording could've been better. Chalk that up to the engineering. I like Ager's willingness to collaborate with artists outside the states (he and Saeon are on the same music team, iCirculate Ent, so I guess it made sense) and I love that Saeon actual raps on the record. Over all, I think it could've done with more cohesiveness and of course Vector's lyrics are on spot!

WHY MAN OF STEEL DIDN’T DO IT FOR ME (A LOVE LETTER TO MY FRIEND KOREDE 'KOREX' ON WHY WE’RE BREAKING UP!)

Korede… this is how you lose me, lol! There’s been much hype surrounding the new Superman movie, Man Of Steel and rightfully so. I for one did not want a new Superman reboot, at least not yet, but I suppose it’s been long enough since the dismal Superman Returns so I guess I can forgive them, they who recycle. First of all let me state that this is not just a review, it’s also a letter to my friend and fellow outcast Korede who enjoyed Man Of Steel so much he saw it twice; the second time with me. He obviously enjoyed it so much that he’d already memorized whole dialogues, but I was disappointed in the overall product.

          

First let me point out the major problem with Superman as a character, despite his 75 years of existence (yes, he’s that old) is that he’s not really relatable. He’s practically a god sent to save humanity. He’s not a billionaire who wears a suit of iron because he’s a tech know-how nor does he don a bat suit because he has daddy issues. He’s a goody two-shoes who knows he’s better than us. So in come the team of Batman director Christopher Nolan as producer, dragging along his Batman co-writer David S. Goyer with Zack Snyder as director in an attempt to make him more… human, more relateable!

           

Of all of Nolan’s Batman movies, Man Of Steel reminds me of The Dark Knight Rises, arguably the least favourite of the recent trilogy and it was a good movie mind you. What plagued Rises is the same thing that plagues Man Of Steel. Allow me to recap: Rises had the chance to be better than its predecessor, the almost flawless The Dark Knight and it was doing just that for the first 45 minutes of the movie, then Bruce Wayne donned the Batman suit. I agree I was excited just like I’m sure everybody else was, but that’s where for me everything began to wobble. Let me point out that the fact that that audiences sat through a Batman movie for 45 minutes with no Batman is credit to the writing talent of the Nolan brothers and David. S. Goyer. Once the Dickensian drama of Gotham was done with and the movie entered comic book territory, it wobbled the plot.

           

Likewise Man Of Steel suffers from the same dilemma. Its first one hour is superb, even with the 20 minute Kryptonian prologue, which I felt could’ve been put in the middle of the movie, maybe have Zod explain his side of things and have holographic Jor-El explain his side of things too… or they could’ve even saved it all together for a sequel, but anyway we sat through it. No problem!

           

Then we get to the part where he becomes Superman, there’s no big revelation to it really, except Kal-El finding a ship and a hologram of his biological father. There’s no aha moment to the scene and then the suit we find out was made in Krypton, not on earth by Kal’s earth mother Martha Kent (which makes sense, since she can't make a suit that can withstand all the stuff that Superman goes through like bullet shots and fire, who is she, that genius lady in The Incredibles?), thus skipping the traditional story we all know and love and now can admit didn't make sense that she'd create that costume. May I point out here Kevin Costner is the best Jonathan Kent ever!

The process of Clark or Kal-El becoming Superman was rather fast and this is where the movie enters comic book territory and it’s hard to comprehend the first part of the movie with what follows. It just doesn’t stay as grounded from that moment on. Please, spare me the joke of, “How could it, when Superman flies?” Mention must be made of Diane Lane who plays Martha Kent and is the only character who in my opinion keeps the rest of the story grounded in some realism. Not that I expected realism in a Superman movie, but they sold it to us in the first half and we bought it.

           

I must explain what I mean by comic-book territory here. There are certain things you can get away with in a comic book; basically, we’ll believe any and everything. Yet when you translate it into a movie, you’re arguably raising the stake and we just won’t buy into anything (like a rapist being cast as an anti-hero a la The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Not bad for a comic, but not exactly ideal for a movie studio trying to make money), which is why movies are often altered if ever so slightly from their source material, which leads us to the movie’s second and third act.

           

When Zod arrives, destruction and mayhem follows as expected, the type that looks good in a comic and just ridiculous in a movie. As The Atlantic critic, Christopher Ori mentioned and I quote, “The general, who evidently watched The Dark Knight during his long journey to Earth, immediately takes a page out of the Joker's book and demands that Kal-El surrender himself or he’ll start killing Earthlings.

I must mention that Zod is NOT portrayed here as a villain per se. He’s the Twyin Lannister of Superman, he believes everything he does is right and is for the salvation of his people, even if it causes discomfort to a whole human race with whom he plans to re-enact the Red Wedding! Yes, he’s evil, but from his perception he’s just a guy taking care of his surviving race. The destruction and mayhem that follows was, I agree with a lot of critics, LOUD and unnecessarily and only Metallica should be allowed to be that LOUD!

I was hurt by the damage done to our planet, albeit we in Africa are always safe when these sorts of things happen. It wouldn’t look so good destroying mud houses in a little African village or the few high risings in my hometown. How much do you want to deprive us of? I am so glad the West gets most of the pounding in these movies; it’s so lovely to watch! The aliens, Superman included, proceed to destroy parts of Smallville (I admit I liked the fight scenes here) and move on to pound Metropolis (this I found confusingly disturbing), like two aliens couldn’t just go to outer space and duke it out, winner takes all style. No, they had to jerk off early.

I can’t tell you how I felt about the “shocking” ending to be honest and what this means for the Superman mythology and whether I could care. I’ll still give Man Of Steel a 4 out of 5 rating though. It’s worth the price of admission for the mere spectacle and its attempt to add depth to an alien who’s trying to relate to us, while we can’t relate to him. In short, it wasn’t as memorable as I expected. I just didn’t walk out the cinema thinking, “Wow… I’d like to watch that again!” Like Drake said, “One time, that’s fine with me!” And to my friend, Korede… maybe we should take a break! If you do decide to contact me, just know I’ll be somewhere watching Downton Abbey… trying to get some proper realism back in me.

Rating: 4/5.